Broken Promises to keep
by GrangerSyndrome
Summary: When it is time for Mia and Sebastian to chase their dreams, they let go of each other painfully. But will a chance meeting after a long period of oblivion be enough to re-kindle what they had? Or is it the flames never really died? Welcome to a La La Land story.
1. Chapter 1

**Part one.**

 **Sebastian**

Chapter 1

"… _Here's to the fools who dream…_

 _Crazy as they may seem…_

 _Here's to the hearts that break…"_

She is singing a story. The most amazing girl I've ever met. Such a soft, melodious and enchanting voice she has. I don't know this song but I'm holding on to each of the lines of the lyric. She's singing about her childhood with her aunt. The aunt who inspired her to chase her dream. She has told me a bit about all in her family but she talks most about her crazy aunt. She told me the way they both would re-enact scenes from their favorite movies and the beautiful summers they spent together in the small old movies section of the little library across her home in Boulder City. I remember how afraid she was last night when I said she had had a callback from Brandt casting company. She has believed for a while now that she's not good enough. Being too modest does strip you of your confidence. I happen to know that a lot. But with the aplomb she's auditioning right now, I believe she's outdone herself.

I don't know when she stopped singing but I am about to stand when I am attacked by a mass of copper shimmer and topple to the bench. She laughs and kisses me without rising and then we sit upright.

"How was it? Did I do okay?"

"It was amazing! I never heard such a beautiful story in a solo song. It was great!" I say.

"Really? Will they like it? What if they don't?" she asks hurriedly and holds on to my arm.

"They will love it."

We sit in my car and I drive. I look at our joined hands and then at her face. She's smiling looking out of the window. The smile warms my heart and my mind wanders to the night we danced in the moonlight. She looked so beautiful in the yellow dress. I can still remember the exact notes we danced to, the exact steps we danced to and the way the light from the lamppost sparkled off her pale skin and…

"You're smiling."

I look over to her and see amusement dancing off her as her mouth twitches.

"What?" I ask.

"You were humming. And smiling." She answers as she leans over seat and faces me. I kiss the back of our joined hands.

"I was remembering the 'The Lovely Night' that caused us to rediscover our animosity towards each other and rename it as something more appropriate such as….love."

"Wow that is very thoughtful." She gives me a grave look. And then we burst into laughter.

I look over and see that I've stopped us in front of the Griffith Park.

She climbs out and we walk over to a sunny bench and sit down. I glance around at the trees and the setting sun. Life is going to give us both a new chance to pursue our dreams. All the elation I should have been feeling, all the excitement that should have been coursing through my veins like electricity turned in a gloomy mist of ice and dropped into my stomach and I started feeling light-headed. The warm sunlight that should have felt amazing in the winter evening felt burning into my skin. I looked over to her face and saw her looking over to the city that was all too famous for the endless love and breaking hearts.

She will be going to Paris.

A throbbing ache started to settle into my chest as I fought to keep my voice straight and eager and not dull and anxious and quivering.

"So, when do you find out?" I didn't explain but she understood what I meant.

"They said in a couple of days." She paused and looked at me. "But I'm not expecting to find anything out." She said.

Great. The undervaluing over-modest Mia is back.

"You're gonna get it." I said as a matter of fact.

"I really might not. I don't want to be disappointed." She said with half a smile. The sparkle in her eyes was gone. I hated my sour voice that might have caused it.

"You will get this. I know these things. I know." I said and fought to keep my face straight and calm. I flexed my fingers repeatedly and looked over again at the trees surrounding us. My eyes squinted a bit at the glare of the sun and I took a few quick breaths. Even those trees know that when winter arrives, they will have to shed all their leaves and start afresh. They also know that when the spring arrives, the leaves that grow on them again will never be the same they had to lose.

"Where are we?" she asks. I look at her face again and hold my right hand closed in a tight fist. She looks like she has aged ten years in that moment. The tiny freckles that ride alongside her eyes look prominent and her pained green eyes look at me searching. She leans on her elbow and frowns.

"Griffith park."

"Where are we?" she asks again slowly and I fight hard with myself not to take her in my arms and never let go. "I know."

I take a deep breath and stop a shudder that runs through me. I clear my throat and speak without emotion.

"I don't kn-know." I close my eyes for a second and tell myself to do what I've been trying to do since the day I met her. Because if I don't, she will never find her dream or live it. All of this would have been for nothing. I gather all the courage and motivation I had felt when I had decided to drive through all the four hundred miles to get her to do this audition. She deserves this.

"Once you get this,-"

"If I get this—"

"When you get this, you gotta give it everything you got. It's your dream." I say firmly, but gently. She half nods slowly reading my face of emotions while I try to keep my face devoid of any.

"What are you gonna do?" she asks.

"I gotta follow my own plan, you know, stay here. Get my own thing going." She nods again and looks down.

She looks like she is going to cry. I can't let her change her mind. So, I attempt at humor. It always saves the day for me.

"You will be in Paris, Good jazz there, and now, you love jazz. Right?"

"Yes." She laughs.

"I guess we will just have to wait and see where this goes."

Her face settles into a grim smile and as she glances at me. Her eyes reflect so much pain that I did a double take. Am I making a mistake? This is what we have to do? Right? This is what we need to do, right? I was so lost that I could not believe what I heard next.

"I'm always gonna love you." She says her voice heavy. She looks like she is about to cry.

"I'm always gonna love you too." I say immediately and then think what we just said. Was it a goodbye? My chest constricts till I feel I am not able to breathe. But looking at her again, I realize this is at least as hard for her as it is for me. Isn't it?

I look around again. I tell myself that we will see each other again. What did I just think? _See_ each other? Oh my God. I can't even talk to myself now without making myself all the more miserable.

"Look at this view." I point my fingers towards the scattered trees and the observatory in front of us.

She laughs again. "I've seen better."

"It's the worst." I say.

"Yeah." We respond together and then laugh.

I wrapped an arm around her and she laid her head on my shoulder. I kissed the side of her head and buried my face in her hair and closed my eyes. The sweet scent of strawberry engulfed my senses and the ache in my chest deepened. Is this really our last time together?

"I love you." I said. My voice came out like a whisper and my throat constricted and a tear escaped. I wiped it away quickly but she had seen it.

"Sebastian?"

I opened my eyes and saw her tear stained face looking back at me. "Mia."

We lunged forward at the same time and our mouths connected for a needful kiss. I poured all my emotion and love in the kiss.

She pulled back once to whisper against my lips "I love you too." My heart leaped and I tugged at her lips. She rested her forehead against mine and said, "Come with me."

That had been my thoughts once when I heard she had to go to Paris. But my dream is here. In Los Angeles.

"I can't." I whispered. "I have to make my dream come true too."

She did not respond further and nodded once. I pulled her closer against me. "Wanna come home with me?"

"Yes." She said.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Hey brother! How are you?" Keith greeted me as I entered his studio. Mia has her audition results due today. We visited a couple of places to rent for my own club yesterday. Every one of them was more than I could afford at this time. To start afresh with risk in mind, I guess you have to have an income. A previous income and enough savings so that when your venture fails or in my case, jazz really dies, you don't feel shanghaied of your means to survive. That was the reason I was here.

"Good man. Really good. So when does the tour start?" I ask.

"A couple of days from now and it will be a three continent tour. America, Europe and Australia for six months."

"Okay. The messengers are climbing high I guess."

"Yeah man, and half of the success belongs to you. Our channel on YouTube is full of praise for the "The Keys Man", the fans love you Sebastian. I love you too man, seriously you are the best I've seen in my entire career." Keith patted my shoulder and I nodded. I did not want to jump high in the air and pump my fist and shout. For me, it works differently. Though I feel elated at Keith's words, I also know that the same people who praise you and give you ridiculous nicknames will not even recognize you outside the YouTube channel, unless you have the balls to take the risk and do something for yourself.

"So, let's practice." I say as I move over to my seat in front of the two piano sets, one the real one and the other the electronic.

We practice for the next four hours. Keith sings really well, I have to give him that. After the success of the west tour, even the other band members have started to acknowledge me. At least that is good. Because it is really difficult to play in a band whose drummist or saxophonist or trumpet master ignores you most of the time.

I reach home to find Mia sitting and staring at an envelope on the dining table. Envelope? Letter? _The letter!_

"Mia?"

"Sebastian." She comes over and hugs me tightly. "Is that the letter from Brandt?"

"Yes."

"What does it say?"

"I haven't opened it yet." She murmurs in my ear and slowly pulls apart.

"Let's open it then." I say and walk over to the table. She sits on my lap and holds my arm tightly. I look at her face to see her panicking. She is biting and moving her tongue over her lower lip and her forehead is creased heavily with frown.

"Hey, you are going to get this okay? It's good news inside it." I say as I tear open the envelope and remove the letter. She does not even attempt to read it and sits quietly breathing frantically.

 _She got the role. Oh my god. Brandt even sent an airplane ticket to Paris for tomorrow._

I read the content quickly and decide to play dumb.

"Wha-what is it?" she asks quickly.

"It does not say much. Just that you have to pack your bags tomorrow." I say and try hard to control my glee and maintain a neutral expression.

"Oh." She slides off my lap.

"You're going to Paris."

"Okay." She says without thinking. Then she turns.

"What?!"

"You are going to star in an Amy Brandt film." I say.

She jumps and snatches the letter from my hand and reads it. Tears run down her cheeks as she finishes the letter and I pick her up and kiss her. She puts an arm around me and wipe her tears with my thumb and kiss her forehead.

"I said you'll get it. You're going to be a superstar." She nods and rests her forehead against me as she whispers.

"Thank you."

"For what?" I ask equally softly.

"For being there for me, for taking me to this audition, for putting up with me." She kisses me with fervor and breaths heavily.

"Nah, you are very easy to put up with you know. Just had to drive a couple hundred miles." I smile and wink and she laughs. "I'm so happy for you."

"Let's make dinner." She says.

"I thought we should go out to celebrate."

"I want to spend my last evening here." She says with excitement in her voice.

 _Last evening._

My expression drops suddenly and the energy and warmth in my nerves suddenly turn into ice. I try to force a smile and say yes but my throat constricts.

"Sebastian." She comes to me and hugs me. _Great. I've ruined her mood._

I try to diffuse my anxiety.

"It's not like you won't talk to me. Right? You'll call me. Right?" I manage to say.

"Yes. Every single day."

"I love you."

"I know. I love you too." She says and tugs me to the kitchen. I can't help but smile after listening to her sincere reassurance. It fills me with a determination. I want our happily ever-after's to start as soon as possible for which I will work hard with The Messengers and save as much as I can to start my own club. I already have a name for it. A smile tugs at my lips at the memory behind it.

"Sebastian, will the audience like me?" Mia asks as we head into the kitchen.

"Fuck them."

"You always say that." She says and we both burst laughing.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

I am sitting on a wooden bench in the makeshift studio that has been where our band had been rehearsing for the upcoming show. It has been five months since Mia called me. She used to call every day for the first month after she began working in her first movie. Then her calls decreased in frequency and I couldn't really blame her. Calling every day might have been a bit too much. But after that she used to call once in a fortnight and it gradually stretched to once in a month. I used to try calling on her cell, but it was never a good time for her to talk so we had decided that she will be the one to call when her shoot is over. But when I tried to call her at midnight when I didn't hear her voice for two continuous months, and an unknown voice greeted me, I thought that I should have probably dialed a wrong number. But upon checking the number, I realized that I should not have dialed in the first place.

This was my last concert and I am returning home when I see that the lights in my apartment are on. Sophia. GOD! I pull over and I am just about to turn the knob when the door opens and Sophia hugs me. I hug her back and enter. A wonderful aroma of ravioli greets my over exhausted senses and I am taken aback.

"You cooked dinner for me?" I asked incredulously.

"Yep." She answers and ushers me to the small kitchen and I am immediately brutally assaulted by mouthwatering aroma.

"Am I missing something?" I ask with a frown and hint of amusement.

"Don't look so surprised, I have fed you a number of times." She says as she serves me a plate. I start eating without another word.

"Yeah. But nothing more than a sandwich." I say and stuff another mouthful.

She serves me a glass of red wine. _Okay. Seriously. What is the occasion?_

"You are finally doing what you always wanted to do. Your own club. I'm so happy for you." She says lovingly answering my unspoken question.

I rise and give her a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek. I so love my sister. "So what are you naming it? Have you decided yet? And where is it located?"

"I bought the place which was very cruelly being converted into a Samba-Tapas place. And the name has been decided." I smile fondly at the memory and a sudden pain erupts in my chest and I drop the fork.

"What is it Seb?" Sophia asks as she sits beside me, her face concerned with worry. I sit up straight. I decide to seek her opinion.

"Soph, I need to tell you something." And I launch into the explanation of the last six months that conspired with me and Mia.

She does not say anything for a long time. Finally, she says what I was worried she would say if told her everything.

"Sebastian, if she wanted to, she would have talked to you and this silence has an indication and you know what it is as well as I do. So, accept it. Move on. Work on your dream just like she is. Otherwise this sacrifice you both made for each other by sacrificing each other from your lives will be in vain."

When she stops talking I rise and take the dishes to the sink. After keeping the dishes back, I realize that the hole in my chest has grown too big and the pain has become unbearable.

But when I reach my room after a dull good night to Sophia, my eyes dart to the hand drawn poster for my club lying on the bedside table beneath the lamp. The apostrophe is really the best I've ever seen. I smile fondly and I don't realize when the pain in my chest becomes a spark. A source of energy with a stone determination to turn every single day from tomorrow an achievement and victory worth the pain.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

I finish the final notes of my new song and turn to the audience to take a short bow and scan the faces for the reactions. I need not have bothered as a big applause erupts and I release the breath I did not know I had been holding. Even after three years of performing at my own club in front of all my colleagues and a new audience every day, I am nervous as ever as I finish my favorite piece.

As a ritual, I name all of my artists and thank them for the night and finally leave the stage for the others to take over.

I enter my home and plop down the couch and close my eyes. I am stirred awake with the ringing of my phone from my pocket. I sit upright and take my phone out of my trousers' pocket. I smile at the caller id and pick up.

"Hey mom. How are you?" Mom calls me every week on a Saturday.

"I am fine. Tell me about yourself. How was your week?" she asks and I can imagine her grinning over the other end.

"It was good mom. I got six contracts for weddings and one for some pichi kaka party of a businessman at his company. And the audience loves my club as usual. I am happy." I say as I recount in brief the turn of events for my club. This year has been simply the best for my club and satisfaction settles deep into my heart at my mother's next words.

"This is wonderful Sebastian, I'm so happy for you. I've never been prouder of my son. You deserve to be truly happy." She sounds elated and my heart soars.

"And by the way, I have some news to share with you. The girl you loved so dearly, Mia, the actress, is getting married tomorrow to an English guy. I told you these actresses are never to be trusted. If she loved you as much you loved her, she would not have forgotten you so easily now, will she?"

I sigh heavily. I have been preparing myself for this for the past four years. Then why is it so difficult to accept it in reality? A well-known dormant smoking fissure opens fresh in my chest and I am forced to close my fist as tightly as possible but the pain does not subside but grows. I am helpless.

"Mom, it's been a long time and surely it was time for both of us to move ahead in our lives. I don't blame her. She is a really busy woman." I say and try to control my breaths which seem as ragged as my voice and my mother catches it.

"Yeah. I see son, both of you have moved ahead in your lives so well. Congratulations. Your love was just seasonal. A spring essence of romance which was everything but deep and true." my mom said and I blanched.

"I am tired mom. May I go to bed now? And I promise mom after I am fully established, I would focus more on my personal life." I state as innocently as possible and a yawn escapes my mouth at the same time and fortunately mom (I can almost see her grumbling) bids me goodbye.

I go to bed and close my eyes trying to get some sleep before my performance for the upcoming wedding tomorrow. I don't know when I start humming the music of ' _City of Stars'_ and walk through the thin fabric of reality into my wonderful fantasy of dreams where happiness is not too foreign an emotion for me.

"That is not so bad."

I rise from the piano stool and head towards the door. "Not bad is great." I say as I walk out. I head out towards the street and walk towards the shady coffee shop which has been my early morning salvation for the past couple of months. My club is at the epitome of its popularity and now I even get paid to exhibit advertisements for movies and plays, the currently being one of Mia's biggest hit from the last month. I have seen all her films and am proud of her to say the least. I have successfully convinced myself for the best and am genuinely happy for her sake. The decision we took five years ago has been the best of our lives and we both have risen and achieved our dreams in the most passionate and desirable way possible.

As I head to the stage for my performance, a brief sense of anxiety and uneasiness hits me and I stagger and halt for a moment to collect my breath which is heavy and uneven. I don't know what caused it and why but I don't have time to dwell on it. Heading to the stage I stand in front of the stage mic and thank each of my partners for a great job this evening and one by one introduce them to the audience with a cheer.

"Carl Bennett on the sax!" the audience roars and my mood lightens immediately. I speak further "Javier Gonzalez on the trumpet." The audience cheers again. "The lovely Nedra Wheeler on bass. The one and only Clifton 'Fou Fou' Eddie on drums! " I turn around a bit and point "and a little too good on the piano, so good that he's gonna own this place if I'm not careful, Khirye Tyler, everybody." I say enthusiastically with a grin and claps roar enormously.

I turn back to the audience and my eyes rest on a person whom I've not expected to meet again in this lifetime. My heart skips a beat and my throat constricts. Air gushes out of my lungs in a swift and I am left staring, unable to breathe, unable to speak standing in front of an audience which is holding on to each of my words. I don't know when the claps died down and suddenly everything I had to say is forgotten and looking down I manage to speak in almost a whisper into the microphone "Welcome to Seb's."

I barely register Khirye standing back and gesturing to the piano bench to which I head on out of habit unable to focus, breathe or register my actions. I sit in front of the piano and press my palm onto my thighs and fidget. I try to breathe but my breath comes so heavy that my hands start shaking. I sit still unable to move my hands to the keys for a long time and I barely even register when my fingers start playing my song, _our song, or as it used to be._ My fingers dance upon the keys playing the notes which I have never played in my club in front of an audience before in the last five years. This song has been my sacred song which I play every day within the four walls of my home. This had been my retreat. My sanctuary of solitude and seclusion for every night. My eyes well up.

My subconscious starts bringing her face to the forefront of my mind and my mind is miserably flooded.

 _Her eyes were still the sparkling emerald green. But they were devoid of luster._

It may be because of sitting in the dark.

 _Her forehead was creased and eyebrows were drooping slightly._

She is worried? Because of me? But there is no reason to be. She is happy. She's has a family.

 _She looked grave and unhappy._

It's untrue. I must have imagined it in the dim lights of the club.

 _The corners of her eyes were crinkling like she was about to cry._

I cringe and curse my subconscious for bringing such imageries. It is then I hear the loud applause.

I turn towards the audience and my eyes immediately dart towards her table. She is speaking to a person on her right. _Her husband._

Abruptly, before even the applause died, they both get up and turn towards the door.

 _Right. She regretted coming here. She is leaving without even a goodbye._

But I don't need another goodbye. I am happy with one I got five years ago. I can live with just one.

I glance towards the door and see her standing and we stare at each other once again. I smile. It is better to let go.

 _Get up and go to her. Talk to her. Just say something._

I ignore the voice inside my head and attempt a smile. I don't know whether she smiled in return because she looked away and left after two more seconds.

It is probably for the best. Because I don't know if I would have felt better or even worse after talking to her.

I turn back to the audience and begin my next song with a cheer.

"Alright, one, two, three…"


	5. Chapter 5

Broken. Promises to Keep.

 **Part two**

Chapter 5

Mia was sitting in the passenger seat of her car which her husband was driving extremely aware of the change in demeanor in Mia. She seemed awfully unaware and lost in thought. She had barely spoken a word after leaving from the club they had visited. He had tried to engage her in small talk like they would often do when they travelled. She had replied either in vague monosyllables or not said anything at all. He knew that Mia was an extremely reserved person and she never talked about anything too much, not even about herself but this time something did not feel right to him.

While her husband was pondering what was wrong, Mia had only one thing on her mind. Sebastian. One look at him and she had started questioning all the decisions she had made over the last few years. The pain which emanated from his eyes as he welcomed her to his club broke her heart all over again. The way the skin near his mouth broke into an all familiar mix of freckles as he tried to smile forcibly brought tears to her eyes. And when he began to play his song, _the special, sacred song, their song,_ she felt like a knife had twisted in her gut. The knife which had been stabbed all those years ago. The wound which had been bleeding all these times. The hole which never had sealed even after all these achievements in life. All the love from her parents, friends, her fans from all over the world and above all her husband had not been enough to aid her wound to heal.

 _The beautiful moonlit night after the hideous party._

 _The face she adored with all her heart._

Abruptly, she had begun to imagine what her world would have been like with Sebastian.

If only they had kissed at their first meeting at the restaurant.

If only they had never parted ways and headed towards the future together. In Paris or in Los Angeles. Together, come what may.

They could have a modest but wonderful home together.

That could have been their future together.

But it was all what could have been. A fantasy.

In that moment, she had realized that she had fulfilled her dream to be the successful actress she had always wanted to be since her aunt first took to her to the library. But she had nothing to look forward to anymore. Everyday has the same monotonous glow like that of a prisoner in a cell. Except the bars weren't always there. They were handmade by her.

Suddenly her door opened and she jumped. "Everything okay baby?'' David asked.

"Yeah. 'course it is." She replied and looked around hurriedly to find that they had reached home. _Already? But we had just left his club_

She did not realize when David put an arm around her and they walked into the living room. Her eyes caught sight of their two-year-old daughter. She bade goodbye to the sitter and picked Jessie up and went to the balcony. She was looking up to her with her big wide emerald eyes. She began to hum.

 _City of stars…_

 _Are you shining just for me?_

 _There in the bars and through the smokescreen of the crowded restaurants…_

 _It's love, yes all we're looking for is love from someone else…_

 _A rush… a touch…_

 _A glance… a dance..._

 _Look in somebody eyes…_

 _That lights up your sky…_

 _To open the world and send it reeling…_

 _The voice that says I'll be here…_

 _And you'll be alright…"_

She stopped humming and saw Jessie chuckling at her with inquisitive eyes. She kissed her softly on the forehead and asked, "Like the song, Jessie?" to which she clapped her hands and Mia laughed. The carefree, heartful laugh that she had not had in a long time. There was mirth in Jessie's eyes that regarded her mother with interest. They both laughed in symphony and it all came back reeling to her.

"You want to hear the real thing, baby?" she asked to which Jessie nodded vigorously. She carried her to the bedroom and quickly left her on the bed to fetch her phone. She searched for the recording and found it. Mia took her in her lap as she hit the play button. A deep male voice blared softly from the speakers as she put the phone on her bedside table. The beautiful music of the piano greeted them and Mia closed her eyes and leaned back to the bedpost. She didn't know when she started singing in sync to the song and a warm feeling erupted in her chest. The warmth grew and a joy she hadn't felt in years made her heart fluttery and her cheeks flushed as she sang without a care in the world. Her happiness doubled when she heard Jessie singing with her.

"What is that noise?" called a male voice as the door opened to reveal David in pajamas ready for bed. He looked…annoyed?

She pressed the pause button. "David?"

"You were singing?" he asked incredulously.

"Yeah…" she flushed again. "So…?"

"But you have never sung before…"

"So? I felt like singing today. What's the matter David?"

"Nothing. I thought you hated all this…" he seemed to be searching for words.

"I never said I hated singing or dancing. I just have never felt like that in a very long time." Mia declared defensively.

"You dance too?" David was stupefied.

"Yes. So?" Mia was angry now.

"No…nothing…it's just that I happen to know so little about you." David said in a low voice looking hurt.

Mia cursed her mouth inwardly and tried to apologize. "I'm sorry David. I didn't mean to hurt you. I don't like to talk much about myself."

"I know, Mia, which is the problem with us. Why don't you like—"

"Look David, I'm tired and I've shoot tomorrow. I really need to sleep." Mia said trying to stall the argument before it becomes inescapable to dodge.

"What?! Just now you were— "David was almost half shouting when Mia went past him carrying Jessie. He stood there motionless unable to comprehend anything. He liked calm, reserved Mia better. Besides, he really did want to know the name behind that voice that Mia was singing with in the recording.

With an audible thump, Mia sat on the wooden chair, cursing the sun for the sweat dripping, tired to the bone state she was in after finishing just half the shoot for the day. The scorching heat of the noon was really draining her. She clutched a water bottle in one hand and sat back to look around the set. A number of people were milling about the entrances eager to peek a look at the shoot. She shook her head and smiled when she saw some people trying to push past the security and climb over the make-shift fences.

Finishing her drink, she stood to walk to the ice box to grab another when her eyes met a sparkling sapphire blue and her mind was stunned into silence. _Sebastian?_

She half walked, half ran to towards the entrance. _Is he really here?_ She almost tripped on her own long gown when she came abruptly to a halt in front of the crowd which was cheering her name. Eyes searching frantically, she finally found him as he came to the front of the crowd, jostling in his way and a serene smile on his face. Without another thought, she held out her left hand to which after a second of surprised look he took and climbed over the temporary fence not taking his eyes off hers.

"How are you, Mia?" he asked softly as they walked towards the set not letting go of each other's hands.

Mia was still in a daze. He really was in real, walking beside her, talking to her. She focused on his deep voice and let it absorb. The glaring sun had suddenly turned into a soothing essence of pleasure carefully instilling a sense of calm in her. For the first time since the previous evening, she felt at ease again.

"I'm…okay…how are you doing Sebastian?" she asked glancing at his face.

"Well, you tell me. How was Seb's?" he asked with a hint of playfulness.

"It was really wonderful. Your musicians are good. And you were amazing. As ever." She spoke softly and he realized that she was speaking from the heart.

"Thanks. I…I ah…really wanted to hear you say that for a long time. I just couldn't make myself to believe that I really would see you again and…" Sebastian stopped when he realized that his voice was coming out as a hoarse whisper. He had promised himself that he would keep his emotions in check after deciding to visit her set. He did not want to make her feel uncomfortable. But deep down he knew that he was deliberately torturing himself by coming here. Little did he know that the same errant feelings were being shared by Mia too.

"Hey did you want to catch up or something?" Mia asked finally after debating internally for a dozen times.

"Yeah…but don't you have to…" he gestured towards the set with his hands.

"I can take a break…and no you don't have to hide in the bathroom or something." Sebastian laughed.

He could see the man with whom Mia was talking to, supposedly the director of the movie, rattled to his brains. When she came back and they held hands once again without a word, he commented," Your director looks pretty frustrated."

"Let him be for a while. He is not very easy to work with." She said and he laughed again. "Okay."

They walked to a nearby restaurant for lunch, each of them talking about all their struggles in the last few years. Once seated in an isolated table, Mia gathered the courage to ask what she had been meaning to since the last evening.

"So, how are you Sebastian?"

"I am good. The club is fine. I'm doing gre—"

"I mean how are _you_ doing Sebastian?" she asked again in a gentle voice.

He blinked and sat straighter. He turned to look out of the window, not wanting to meet her eyes.

"I…ah…am okay. Mom, dad and Sophia are all happy with what I am doing, so, yeah. Everything is great!" Sebastian said with a forced exclamation. He finally looked into her eyes and saw that one emotion that he did not expect to see there. Pain. Unmasked, raw, unhealed gaping sea of pain which made him feel the sudden, sharp pang in his chest that he had not desired to feel ever again.

"Mia?" he said in a state of shock.

She looked away and let out a sharp breath. She had not expected these emotions from the past to resurface at this point of time. Over the years, she had taught herself to never lose the battle over her feelings. All the deeply hidden sensations coming back to haunt her at once left her breathless.

"I…I'm good…just some memories." She said in what she thought was a convincing tone to which Sebastian nodded feebly.

In reality, he felt terrible for causing them both so much pain and opening an old, forgotten and rusty door of memories. He hated to ask but he had to know.

"How long are you here?"

Mia looked up from her reverie and saw him trying to maintain a straight face. She cleared her throat tried to reply slowly, but the unescaped sobs that had filled her throat made her voice come out as a hoarse whisper.

"A week, at most."

 _At most…a week at most…at most…_ Sebastian repeated like a mantra in his head. After that, all will be the same as it was in the last five years.

Lunch was served and they ate in silence. A thought had been eating away his mind since he had seen Mia leave his club the previous night. Taking a gulp of water to clear his throat, he decide to voice it.

"Mia, you don't regret walking into my club yesterday, do you?"

Mia had not seen that coming. _Why would he think that?_ Then she remembered the haste in which she had exited his club. She cursed herself inwardly for giving him such an impression. _Oh no. He thinks I hated seeing him again._

"No. Not ever. No, Sebastian, you can't even begin to understand how wonderful it felt to see you again when I had not expected to see you or talk to you or listen to you play that song again…not in this lifetime. "

Sebastian wanted to ask her so much. But all those questions were submerged by the warmth that filled his heart when she told him the exact way _he_ had felt when he saw her in his club.

"You liked the song?" he wanted to hear her say yes again and again.

"I loved it Sebastian. The way I felt in there watching and listening you play that song was not something I have experienced much in a few years, except when Jessie was born."

Before he could stop himself, he blurted out. "Who's Jessie?"

"Jessie is my daughter." Mia said holding his gaze and feeling a smile curve upon her face on the thought of her beautiful baby girl.

"Oh." He did not know how to feel upon this revelation. Not wanting to stretch an uncomfortable silence, he said "How old is she?"

"She's two years old. You want to meet her?" Mia asked.

The spark in her eyes and the happiness radiating off her was infectious and Sebastian could not help but grin and present his proposal.

"Why not? You two can come to my club. I can play. We—"

"We can sing. She loves our song."

 _Our song_ Sebastian was both thrilled and confused.

"Our song?"

"Oh. I have a recording of our City of Stars in my phone. I played it for her yesterday and she loved it."

Sebastian was trying hard to hide his happiness but was failing miserably.

"Then you two must surely come to my club. The club is empty from three to six. I bet she will have a great time."

"Of course, she will. We will be there at three. I have to go...um…see you soon." Mia said as they came near to her shoot location.

Sebastian watched her hurry back and realized that he felt full of life for the second time in the last five years. The first time was when he had successfully realized his dream and his parents and Sophia had told him that they were proud of him. But this- this feeling of elation and inner joy did not even come close to that first time. It was unearthly, divine, inexplicable feeling of pure bliss.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

"She looks just like you, Mia." Sebastian said softly looking into Jessie's eyes as he makes them sit on a couch near his piano.

"Hey Jess, wanna hear me play?"

A smile from the little girl was all he needed to start playing.

 _"_ _City of stars, are you shining just for me?"_

Mia leaned on the piano and started singing. The feeling of old times did not bring nostalgia this time. It brought warmth and joy to the soul.

Jessie was watching both of them with wide eyes. At the end of the song, the sound of her loud applause brought them both to the present. Grinning ear to ear, they both came to stand beside her. Attempting to humor the little girl, Sebastian bent down on one knee and started singing to her. Mia was both surprised and immensely delighted to find how much her daughter liked the man whom she loved with all her heart, even though she knew him for a few minutes.

 _"_ _The sun is nearly gone…_

 _The lights are turning on…_

 _A silver shine that stretches to the sea…"_

Mia sat on the piano bench and pointed to the space beside her. The look in her eyes told Sebastian to let's revisit the old days. Thus started their tap dance and the beautiful song that accompanied had all three of them enthralled to the core.

The only difference was that back then, they would have done anything to abdicate each other's company. But now, they would have done anything to be in each other's company.

Lunch in the empty club was heaven and Mia and Sebastian enjoyed it to the fullest. They danced and sang some more after lunch and when the time came for her to go her shoot, both of them felt the same dejection.

When she was ready to go, they found Jessie fast asleep in the comfortable couch beside the piano. Mia was in a dilemma what to do when Sebastian rose without a word and covered the sleeping little girl's body with a blanket and adjusted her head on a thin pillow so that it may not pain when she wakes up. Coming back to Mia, he asked in a soft whisper.

"She can stay till you come back. When will your shoot complete?"

Mia could only stare at him in pleasant surprise as her love for Sebastian grew another notch. His love towards her daughter even though she knew how painful it must be for him made her giddy and lightheaded. She did not know why, but she felt so guilty at that moment that she decide to say everything she had been meaning to since the moment she met him again.

But one look at his face and the pain and the sorrow holed up deep inside her broke free and she hugged him hard. Tears fell freely and deep sobs escaped involuntarily from her throat as she tried to speak her heart.

"I didn't know what do to, Sebastian. My dad, mom everyone told me to let go. They said you would not do anything in life and that I shouldn't live in the past. She even erased all of my L.A. contacts and set me up with David who already had asked me out. I couldn't call you, I couldn't contact you by any means…"

"What happened then?" Sebastian held her in his arms as calmly as he could without breaking down himself. It was fortunate for him that she could not see his face.

"I began to like him. He was just a guy in the production house when I had done my two movies. Everyone pushed me forward. He was smart and charming and cared for me. Everything had began to look up again…"she drew a sharp breath.

"Mia, do you love him?"

"Yes. But no as much as I lov-"

He pulled himself away and lifted her chin gently to look her in the eyes.

"It does not matter. You love David. You have a family. You have a wonderful daughter and you are on the top of your career as you can ever be. There is nothing to cry about. There is nothing to mourn for." Sebastian spoke gently and held her at an arm length looking into her eyes. He wiped her wet cheeks and gently straightened the stray hair from her face. Stroking her back, he spoke,

"You have to live your life as you have been living for these past years. We decided to move ahead in our lives five years ago. Look where we are now. .Successful. You have a life. I have a life. We—"

"Do you?" Mia spoke in a soft whisper.

"Do you what?"

"Do you have a life? Are you happy? You met my daughter. Where is your family?"

"I-ah…I've been busy. I got too much on my plate." Sebastian rubbed the back of his neck and frowned. "That's not the point. We were talking about you. You—"

The way Sebastian avoided the question made the frustration and disappointment she was feeling turn into anger.

"I am talking about you, Goddammit! Answer me."

"Answer what?"

"Where is your family? Your wife?" she said angrily.

"What?! Mia, I'm not married. I—"

"Why didn't you?"

This was the breaking point for Sebastian.

"Because all of us are not like you. I was not damn eager and….and excited to marry and have a family like you…because people like me, they don't forget every goddamned beautiful thing that happened so fuckin' easily and move on. Because losers like me like to dwell in a fantasy which is a fuckin' wonderful sequel of the past." He was breathing hard and the moment he finished, a raging guilt caught his chest in flames.

"You never lost hope, did you? You waited. For me. I never called. I never…visited…instead I…I— "Mia whispered almost to herself. The tension in the air was almost palpable. She had never felt so horrified and guilty in life.

Up till now, Sebastian had done his best to avoid bringing himself into the story. He had never wanted to make her feel this way. But for once he decided to go with the truth. For once, he decided to think a bit about himself too, to do the wrong thing. So he spoke, before his subconscious could take control once again and make him forcefully do the right thing again.

"Yes. I kept my promise. If you remember what it was." He spoke quietly and watched her face for her reaction. He immediately regretted it.

Mia's expression changed from anxiety to confusion and finally to a look of comprehension causing her eyes to grow wide.

She opened her mouth to speak but could not find her voice. _You will never understand, but I have kept my promise too._ She wanted to speak voluminously of her heart, to shout to him till he understands that the way he felt was mutual but could not. It was too late. And, besides, she cannot betray David. He was a good man. She had a family and responsibilities.

"Sebastian, I— "she was interrupted by the ringing of her phone.

Sebastian stood with his head down and waited patiently. Mia left for work shortly after she hung up. He went to sit beside the couch on which Jessie was sleeping. Taking the stool with him, he sat leaning against the couch and began gently stroking Jessie's soft copper blond hair and closed his eyes only to drift into a dreamless sleep.

Mia had just sat down in her car after exhausting herself to the bone when her phone rang. Taking a large gulp of her ice-cold water and said without looking, "Hello?"

"Mia? Where are you this late and where is Jessie?" came the concerned and a bit annoyed voice of David from the other end.

"She's with me, David. Shoot just got over. I'll be late. Don't wait up for me." Mia said stifling a yawn.

"Wait. What? You took Jessie to your shoot? Where are you?" David sounded really angry now.

"Yes. She's with an old friend now. She—"

"Which friend? You never said you knew anyone in Los Angeles." Came a suspicious and angry voice from the other end but Mia was not listening. She was too tired.

"We met today in the afternoon for lunch. She fell asleep in his home. I'm going to pick her up. Bye." Mia said and hung up before David could prod her further. She really did not have any energy left for arguments today. She quickly told the driver to take her Seb's.

As she was passing through the busy L.A. traffic, she mused on the heated words they had exchanged that afternoon. She could have prevented all of that, had she been a bit clear headed. But when memories and dismay and repentance and regret came rushing into her heart like a tornado that never spares anything in its way, she had no choice, and the years of hidden feelings of despair and frustration poured out of her in a way she had never thought was possible. This vulnerability that possessed her whenever she was with Sebastian was known to her in a very foreign manner.

Mia decided to end the night with the wisest decision she could make. She had finally realized something that was buried deep into her conscience which she never wanted to acknowledge. One last thing to do and hence save herself from jeopardizing both their lives.

 _It was time for good-bye. Again._


	7. Chapter 7

The one thing that Mia loved about this city was that it never slept. It was seldom quiet or dark in the streets of L.A. But it was the last thing that could make her feel better against the looming feeling of emptiness that was growing inside her and eating her chest out.

She had just gotten out of her car when the music reached her ears. It was the solo piece of jazz piano which had the unnatural power to tug at her heart's strings like nothing else could. Sebastian was playing. A number of people were milling about the entrance of Seb's. She parked her care in a daze and entered inside taking the club taking slow steps. Reaching out to an empty table in the front, she sat down, all her plans forgotten.

The music, the atmosphere in the club soothed her raw nerves and filled her with a glowing warmth that she had not expected to experience again, not after what she had decided to do tonight. But sitting at the small table in the dim light, watching Sebastian play, Mia could not help but feel that emotion again which had been clawing at her heart, the feeling which made her feel afraid and made her stomach clench as if what she had done couldn't ever be undone. And though she was still wallowing in unknown but bubbling guilt, Mia was never unaware of the way a few streaks of Sebastian's golden-brown hair would fall in front of his face and the way he would never care but keep his eyes closed as he played his heart out to the listeners, and that doomed fate of her existence which had proclaimed in all its authority that she would never experience it again, brought tears to her eyes and her heart broke all over again. She had vowed to herself not to endure herself to this torture again, yet here she was never wanting to leave again.

A hand on her shoulder made her turn only to find Sebastian motioning her to come with him. Her mind utterly blank and her heart reeling, not knowing what to do, she went with him. A modest sized living room came into view and the lunch and all their conversation and Jessie came flooding back to her with a jolt.

That was when she saw her little girl on the couch in front of the open T.V. She was sleeping with a medium-sized pillow under her upper back and neck and her small hands were closely hugging the backrest of the couch as if it was her own stuffed toy.

Jessie was sleeping like the very same way she used to when she used to lay down on that couch. With him. Together.

Mia couldn't speak. Whatever she wanted to say died had succumbed right there in her throat.

"She had dinner and I told her you would be coming for her soon. She wanted to see me play so I switched on the T.V. so she could see the club performance." Sebastian explained quietly. Mia remained silent for a long time standing beside the couch, gently stroking her daughter's head with her fingers. Holding back her tears had never been so hard and Mia didn't look at him the entire time he had spoken.

Taking her daughter in her arms, she turned back to him. With a courage that she did not knew she had inside, she spoke, her voice thick, "I am leaving tomorrow."

Sebastian took in the words slowly, letting them sink in. When the reality of those words dawned upon him, his eyes widened. His hands dropped to his sides and he opened his mouth but closed it immediately. It had to happen after a few days. So, why not now? He tried hard to let his face be as expressionless as possible.

"Okay." He did not know what else to say to her. An all too familiar pain was boiling in his chest and swallowing his insides. His throat had constricted upon itself preventing him from speaking any further. She was saying goodbye in her own way. At least this is a little less painful than hearing the actual words. If she would have said anything more, it would have been his undoing.

"Okay." Mia whispered as she turned to leave carrying Jessie. Her mind was screaming at her to leave. Deep in her conflicted heart, she knew it was telling the truth. She knew where the night would go from there if she hesitated for even a single moment. The moment she turned her back on Sebastian who was looking anywhere but at her, her breathing quickened and vision began to blur. She didn't know if it was the tears that was increasingly making her eyes see black or what Sebastian was saying from behind her. The only thing she knew was that she had to reach her car as quickly as possible, and drive back. Her head began to pound hard and a blaring noise was beginning to deafen her ears making her mind fuzzy. She briefly registered Sebastian's voice calling behind her as her brain went into a overdrive and her eyes closed on their own and she felt her knees give out.

* * *

Mia fluttered her eyes open to find herself in strange bed but in a not so strange room. She looked around briefly and sat upright removing the covers to settle her feet on the floor. Her head still hurt a bit as she started walking around rubbing her eyes and yawning. She walked around to the door to another room and laid her eyes on the sight that made her day. On the couch-turned-bed under the covers was her little girl curled upon the man who still held her heart, both sleeping so peacefully that it made her heart ache with both happiness and guilt. She didn't know how she could feel the two of them at the same time. Jessie lay cozily with her head lying on Sebastian's chest, both of their eyes closed but their breathing quite rapid. As she tiptoed to their side, Jessie stirred briefly and then snuggled further into Sebastian, her small hands holding him as tightly as they possibly could. Walking back into the room where she had slept, she searched for her purse. She found it on the small bedside table and quickly fished for her phone. Taking her phone, she went back quickly and clicked a picture for the pair of them. A small touch into the heart on the top of the screen and the picture was saved in the favorites in her gallery for as long as she wanted and her heart forever.

But looking back at the picture she clicked, her attention was drawn to the notification bar indicating twenty missed calls and an equal number of messages. All from David. Oh, My God. What will he think? Hyperventilating again, she almost pressed the call button when she realized it was way too early in the morning.

"Mia? Are you okay?" Mia turned so fast that she stumbled a bit. Sebastian held her elbow to steady her. "We both thought we tricked you!", he said, his mouth curved up in a hint of a smile and his forehead creased in worry. Mia hated that she was the reason that the frown was there.

She avoided his gaze and picking a strand of hair and tucking it behind her ear, she spoke quietly, "Sebastian, I need to go."

"Yeah, I know. Come on, I already made breakfast. Jessie is awake." Awake? When? Mia was confused. Moving to see the couch, she saw Jessie's emerald eyes looking back at her.

She looked at his face while he was looking over at her daughter. And, once more two things simultaneously rose to a new high inside her. One was heart-warming adoration and the other, agonizing guilt. Her eyes began to pool with tears again. "You didn't have to do that, we cou—" she began but stopped seeing the tender scene unfold in front of her eyes.

Sebastian lovingly picked Jessie up cooing her and went to the other end of the small room into a small kitchen cum dining, her daughter giggling all the way while she followed the pair of them. He set her up upon a wooden chair and laid her napkin on her lap. "Good girl." He said and kissed her cheek almost lovingly. Mia sat down on the other end of the table with a smile that did not reach her eyes. Part of her wanted to go home but a much larger part of her told her to enjoy and savor the moment till it lasts, which was not going to be long. Seeing Sebastian feed Jessie, she was thrown into a world of fantasy where everything was set right by the almighty time. She could not help but reminisce at the beautiful days they spent together in his home, the singing and the dancing and the heavenly music from his piano and their happiness. All a wonderful fantasy of life that could have been.

 _The life that should have been_. Her subconscious whispered quietly.

Seeing the pair of them, and her daughter so delightful and giggling without a care in the world, she could not help but compare David with Sebastian. Never before had she seen Jessie so unfazed and unafraid and enjoying so much. David never made her laugh like that.

 _Neither does he make you feel like that._

"What exactly is this place?" Mia asked to take her mind off thoughts.

Sebastian turned from Jessie to speak to her and it was in that moment that Mia saw such spark and energy in his eyes that she had never seen before. The spark of love and devotion which melted her insides and tore away a piece of her heart again.

"Yeah. I call it my crash-room. I stay here for the night whenever I feel too tired to drive home or..." he stopped talking and averted his gaze taking a mouth-full of eggs. She wanted to hear the other end of the 'or', but decided against it. She ate in silence just enjoying watching the pair of them laugh themselves off with each other.

 _Or whenever you don't feel like going home._ Her subconscious completed automatically.

It was after she had finished her plate when she heard him speak to her. "When do you leave?"

"I don't know. The flights were booked by David."

"Okay."

Not another word was spoken.

Sebastian saw them off to her car and waited in the bright morning sun for full five minutes staring into the distance where Mia's car had disappeared. He chuckled in a low throaty voice to himself reveling in the fact that this time it surprisingly didn't hurt that much.

 _Must be good then not knowing the 'when',_ chuckled his mind to him.

* * *

David was beyond furious when Mia arrived home with Jessie. First her strange demeanor since the night after they arrived in L.A., and now her disappearance had made him question himself. How much did he actually know about Mia? She never talked to him freely. She says she loves him, and he knew it was true. Then why is she so distant? He did not even know about her pre-acting life, because she never talked it about. And now she spends the night with their daughter away from home. Where? And why would she won't tell him?

Mia let Jessie into her room and sat on the chair beside David. After two minutes of fruitless staring, Mia broke the ice. "I am going to Nevada, to my parents' home for two days. I completed three days' shoot yesterday to have some time off. I leave at ten." She said in a no-nonsense manner, only then did she meet her husband's eyes to see him stunned and speechless. She felt guilty again.

Here he was waiting for an explanation on where she was the night before and here she was proclaiming her plans of Nevada to him.

"Why?" the question came out before David could stop himself.

"Why? Are you asking me why I want to meet my parents?" Mia asked deadpan.

"We could go together."

"No. I am going by myself."

"Why didn't you come home last night?"

"I was with an old friend of mine and I fell asleep. We slept in his home, had breakfast this morning and came home straight after that." Mia said truthfully, leaving the fainted-out-of exhaustion-and-heartache part.

"Asleep. You mean with your friend with whom you were last night?" David blurted before he could stop himself. Mia was thrown out of sorts for a moment with the comment. She could not process the thought of her husband accusing her of adultery. Right in the face. And then all the frustration, depression and anger returned with an uproar shaking her insides with cold, deadly fury. If her stare alone could kill, she could have sent David in his grave for that remark. Instead, without a word, she slapped him across the face with all strength she could muster. "You think I slept with a man when my daughter was with me? Well this explains how my husband sees me in the real. A 'slut' of an actress. Right? Like a man on the street would." She spat in his face and turned to leave. David got up and held her elbow to stop her.

Mia could see it in her eyes that he wanted desperately to have some answers, and she also knew that it wasn't his fault anyway.

"How am I to understand that? I don't know you at all. You won't tell me who this friend is and how much you two are close or—" Mia looked him in the eye hoping internally to see regret for his comment but instead she saw anger and more accusations. Her insides flared again. She could not believe him.

"You may not know my past, but you know me well enough for the two years of our marriage, don't you? Have I ever asked you about all the small-town actresses you fucked when you were just an assistant in exchange for a scene in your boss' movie? Not only because I thought you changed. But because I trust you and the family we have built together. Why? Why are you so difficult?"

"Because you don't tell me anything. I—please don't go right now. Just let me explain, I just want to-"

"I told you everything that happened last night."

"No. I—"

"I told you everything that happened last night." she repeated, without waiting to hear what he had to say. She didn't know why she was so angry at him. "You don't need to know his name."

"Why?"

"Because I don't need you to. Let him be. And I am taking Jessie with me to my parents'. I think it will be a good outing for her." Mia stated as she left to get ready.

 **Thanks for reading!**


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